I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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