And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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