you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize