I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
