Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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