scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
