physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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