What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
