just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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