I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
