My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
