If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
