We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I want her autograph on my taint
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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