I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
