WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
