at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Boobs speak an international language.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
