I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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