why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
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