i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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