ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
