remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
