I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize