im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
