Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
