I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We are two peas in an std pod
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
