what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
