I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize