try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
