I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Help. Why am I so naked?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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