i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize