He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
