Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm jealous of your bromance
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
