It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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