i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
