I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
