I hate your face
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
