My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
