You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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