Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
operation have a gay friend backfired
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
