I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
we're making bets on your personal life
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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