Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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