So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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