I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
