we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize