Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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