I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize