know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
That was before I lit my hair on fire
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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