The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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