his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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