so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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