I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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