Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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