in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize