Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
