So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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