come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
