we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
