Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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