When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
