even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
