so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
