I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
