yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
