Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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