so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
