I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
