I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize