I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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