So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
