He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize