i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
