is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just forgot I was standing up.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize