How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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