girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
