so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
