Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
