Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
