he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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