i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
