Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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