so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
