By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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