There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
